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I'm sure you're curious about who I am. Well, I'm a hebephile, which is a person who is attractive to adolescents. A pedophile is attractive to pre-adolescents. My preference tends to be for girls from12 to 16 years old. Hence, my former nickname TeenGL, which stood to TEENage Girl Lover. However, I've been attracted to girls as young as 10 years old. I hope you weren't under the assumption that I was a teen myself. Recently, I've changed my nickname to Dream Weaver. I will attempt to tell you about myself without revealing too many personal details. I must be careful as I'm sure you know.
I think your first question is why I'm a girl-lover, aka GL? First, I 'm attracted to women my own age. I'm no different than the majority of men out there. However, I am also attracted to very young women. This is the way I am and I don't see it as being any different from someone who prefers blondes from brunettes or large breasts to small breasts. I find the innocence, charm and beauty of spiritual, emotional and physical make-up of teenage girls to be far more enchanting.
I discovered I was GL when I was a junior/senior in high school. I was attracted to girls in my class, but I found myself more attracted to not only the freshmen, but the nearby junior high girls. At first, I thought it was only ok if I thought the occasioanl freshman was cute, but I found myself looking at them more each day. Here I was, practically a man and attracted to girls who were at times 6 years younger than me. What I knew about pedophiles (I don't know the term hebephile yet) was from the news and it was never good. The stories either involved men who molested girls or went as far as to rape and kill them. So, here I was wondering if I was some sort of freak or pervert. I kept asking why was I this way, why couldn't I be attracted to girls only my age, was I going to be attracted to teenage girls when I was 30, 40, 50 years old?
I had no one to talk to about this problem, I knew they would automatically reject me and call me a pervert. I was depressed by the ordeal until a conversation I had with my father. He was telling me about how my grandmother had died giving birth to him and how my grandfather married his second wife six months later. For some reason, I asked how old my grandfather and his second wife were when they married. He told me my grandfather was 24 years old when he married his second wife, who was a teenage bride of 14 years old. She was a few weeks shy of her 15th birthday. However, their marriage wasn't unusual since they were in the old country, it was considered normal. Girls were expected to be married in their teens to older men. There were several reasons for this. First, the infant mortality rate was high, so it was imperative to have as many children as possible and the only way to do this was to get married and have children early. As to why they married older men as opposed to men their age? Older men were more financial secure and able to maintain families that could number up to 10 children. Off all of this gave me comfort that my feelings were normal. In fact, it was normal for for men to have relationship with younger women for the reasons I stated. Only recently has society frowned upon them and assumed all GLs are perverts, molestors and rapists. Despite my family history, I have never told my family about my orientation. Unfortunately, they have embraced society's views about GLs.
In fact, it's a fantasy of mine to met a teenage girl and eventaully marry her, have a family and live out my days with her. Does it sound too far-fetched? Well, you'll learn it's happened already when you read about some of the historical figures who were GLs or involved in intergenerational relationships. I'm sure you'll be very surprised who some of them are. It's through them, personal stories and other information that I hope to show that I and other GLs are only looking for someone to love, the only difference is the age of those who we wish to love.
Until that day comes to be, I must keep my affections a secret and find other avenues to show them. One of them is through involvement in my church's youth ministry. I help with the development of weekly discussion topics and service projects as well at the meetings. Of course, above all I help these young people learn and strengthen their faith in the Lord and His Son Jesus Christ. It's through the Holy Trinity that I draw the strength to accept who I am and use that gift to help these teens and in turn help the world that would persecute me.